Forgiveness

Note: The original title of this had been "Perpetuating Our Miscommunications, Feeding Our Own Fears, and Clinging to Old Karma." After finishing the post, I felt a little different about it. I no longer felt like it focused on those characteristics, but rather on leaving them behind.

Heh, I must admit, my Ho’oponopono recitation (*see footer) was helpful the moment I realized that's what this was.

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A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook an amused and politely annoyed update regarding his family and the commentary he overheard about him regarding his dislike of Fox News. As I started my comment, I failed to really ever stop typing, and wound up with a long observational blog update. (In fact, I accidentally sent him most of the entire post by accident. Just kept typing and typing and pressed Enter to skip a line, only to submit the comment. My bad!)

It's just such a sad thing, really. I imagine the disruptive members of Fox news, along with that image we often pull up of the cliched "viewer," have all the best intentions despite how dishonest and hateful they can be. They think those who aren't "there" with them are just going down the wrong path or something. And we look at them and get so frustrated. We inadvertently feed them the picture of those who are bitterly in denial, and the two groups sort of miserably react along this same cycle of misunderstandings and misinformation. We feed each other the bad things we expect from each other, and perpetuate a problem.

It's a great micro-sociology representation of so many of our problems, utilizing simple media preferences. That situation is the result of the interactions between a deeper mix of ideologies, and how they manifest themselves in our information sources (and therefore how we reenforce our most familiar and easily-digested reality.) Arguably, this mini-situation illustrates the way in which we develop, exist-within, reenforce, and viciously protect our reality and sense of self. Even with a solution in sight, we're likely more concerned with not losing this personal identity than we are concerned with solving society's (and therefore the world's) problems. How disappointing.

If we didn't function on such extremes at the moment, we might be able to recognize this objective narrative of our constant fear, knee-jerk reactions, self destruction, finger-pointing, judgment, assumptions, and hate. If we'd stop reenforcing our own behaviors and fighting so hard to be right, or be the best, or be the richest, or be the most powerful, then maybe we could finally cut the karmic cycle. If we could just admit that discovering the truth is more important than being right, then we might not be so afraid of ever being wrong. What the hell are we afraid of...

If everyone could just STOP, and decide "I'm done," and start the hell over--no focus on past deeds or past disagreements, no constant search for a reason to distrust, no insecurities about the past or about our lives (which rules out a need to search for worth or meaning outside of our own growth and goodness)--then maybe we'd be on to something.

If we were all willing to forgive. Everything, including ourselves. Most importantly ourselves...

...then I think we'd fix it.

We have to be willing to be wrong about anything, and we have to care. About everyone. Everything. Specifically, we have to respect everything, because we can recognize it.

We have a huge responsibility, being so aware.

We have been granted the ability to be aware of the possibility of a reality outside of our own, while simultaneously being a part of those other realities, while simultaneously observing those other realities. We can imagine the "other side," the rest that isn't "me" or "you." We can grow and learn outside of ourselves, essentially knowing and being aware of everything, even the stuff that isn't us. WE COULD BE EVERYTHING, TOGETHER. This isn't pro-science or anti-universal-oneness (as that is what I view to be the underlying message of our highly symbolic and abused religions. I chose not to use the word "religion" for a reason; I don't want to give the impression that I think there is a man with a white beard in outer space.)

This is the culminating potential of existing. Not one of us is entirely right or entirely wrong. None of us have a complete image of our universe or what we're doing. We have various explanations for the reality outside of ourselves, and what we should do with that information. (I won't lie, I feel some of these explanations are more reliable and constructive than others.) We're capable of breaking the boundaries between our realities. We're the only things stopping ourselves. Don't you feel empowered?

If we'd just stop and remember our potential, and how hard we worked and fought to get this far in our biological and therefore psychological development, maybe we'd stop taking it for granted. Maybe we'd stop telling ourselves that with all this power, intelligence, ingenuity, curiosity, and freedom, that we also therefore have no need to try any harder.

Too often we live just for us, because in being aware of perspectives outside of my own, I suddenly feel very naked and insignificant. I have too much freedom and only tend to respond when not doing so will cause me immediate harm. Without any barriers, I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO. It's a lot of responsibility, isn't it?

Too often we close up into our own like-minded groups and do everything we can to retain our very limited worldview. We're not even aware that we're doing it. We think we're happiest when we have a nice, dependable, guided existence. It limits our abilities because it limits our purpose (be it to go to heaven or be fleeting and rot in a casket), and therefore there is no great impetus to KEEP IMPROVING. After all, we already know the outcome, and we don't wanna have to do *too* much work when surviving is already work enough as it is. Especially with all these pesky assholes who keep threatening to make me question my worldview!

So we say, "screw everyone/everything else. I'm living for my comfort."

And that isn't to say everyone feels this way, nor does it so that those who do feel it 100% of the time. That's what's so important. All of it is fear and misinterpretations, and we shouldn't make wide assumptions about anyone. We shouldn't hate someone who doesn't know what they're doing, let alone how to stop. In reacting so negatively and perpetuating the sense of distrust and disapproval by projecting that ourselves, we prove to be just as afraid and just as flawed. All we do is worsen that feeling of an imposing threat upon their person in some way, and they retreat from any possible revelations all the more vehemently. Forgiveness and maturity and a desire to be harmonious can't be one-sided, here.

So I asked, what if we just decided to stop, and to be intelligent, empathetic adults? What if we forgave everything as part of living this human experience, and stopped expecting more disappointments? It's difficult to imagine it because our experiences up until the present have sculpted us. We can't change our functioning reality at the drop of a hat. It takes a lot of work and dedication, and is a lifelong effort.

It's the process of seeing yourself in others, and seeing how we all effect everything else. It's the process of absolute forgiveness and unconditional love, to use a pair of overused but no less accurate phrases. It's the process of an ever evolving sense of self and sense of the universe. It's the process of enlightenment.

It's time we remembered to keep participating. So many already are, did you know? It's already happening. You're reading this. You're ready to do it. We're doing it.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank You.

Ho’oponopono.

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And with that ending, I'd like to point out that this posting was purposefully ambiguous (for the most part) regarding which "mindset" I was speaking about the most. Yes, I am part of this human experience, too, so I have my own perspective on it. Clearly, I find myself more on the "anti-Fox-news," "pro-science" side of the fence. But once again, being a human being doesn't stop me from seeing and fully understanding other human beings. The message is poignant for all readers. Turn it back on yourself and see the way some of the observations may fit parts of your life. (It was certainly therapeutic for me to write it.) I could be speaking about fundamentalist Christians, radical Islamists, Mormons, or Atheists, for example. We all hate to be wrong, and therefore we all think we are the ones who are "right." Some are more open to correction than others, true. (And there again my personal perspectives and biases against the oppressive extremes of most religions rears its human head.) But let me be clear, I've seen some really angry, mean-spirited, self destructive extremes in atheism and obsession with any one particular "branch" of science. Once again, drawing into another extreme perpetuates this internal and external schism.

Point being, I think this blog post can be read to/for multiple kinds of people. Think of it as objectively biased, I suppose? Remember that it comes from my perspective and so it will contain my version of things. That doesn't mean the story of self-preservation doesn't apply to everyone.

This is a group effort that begins within each of us.

(*) For more information about Ho'oponopono, "ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness," see this Wikipedia article on the subject for a general understanding of the concept, and see this interview with Dr. Hew Len regarding his experience with the practice in a mental hospital.